This week what was really interesting to learn more about is
the world of attachment. Primarily between an infant’s main care provider, and
the effect this has on our brains. As Gabor Mate discusses, this dynamic
influence in our society and culture is taking its toll. If we were only seeing
this as a problem between our parents and children, individually, we wouldn’t
be seeing the influential consequences socially. I believe he calls it a societal
problem. Further explanation by Dr. Mate states that conditions for healthy
child development are seen in hunter gatherer societies.
I find this issue of particular interest mostly because how
our culture is so technological and fast paced. The information about hunter
gatherer villages was new to me. The term “It takes a village”, referring to raising
our children, has been a term which has been thrown around over the years. When
he referenced that phrase in connection with raising healthy societal children
I was really able to connect. Personally my beliefs have been that one of the
richest ways to enhance a child’s life experiences is through connecting with
many other healthy adults. At one point in raising my three children I realized
as a single parent, in an abusive relationship, that I needed the help of my
community. Our village consists of our church, child care providers, fathers,
mothers, teachers, local store owners and workers. It was only through the strong connections within
our community I then felt my kids had a chance to do well in life.
If I had the time, and resources, my dream would be to
educate our communities with regards to attachment disorders, are we doing it
right? This whole idea of taking time to have a baby, and spending more than
six weeks after baby’s birth with her, then not stressing your marriage and
family life out, is so simple. What have we missed? Why are we so ignorant to
these very basic truths? I believe the pace at which the Western civilization
moves is greater than what our human brains can effectively handle.
Additionally the affluence of money and bigger, better and nicer things is
killing us. It is no wonder we have pockets of people who don’t want to go
along with the “flow of society”, and stay secluded while wisely protecting
their future generation of off spring.
I have lived mostly without big fancy tangible items. I have
tried to keep life for my family simple and rich with love and legacy. As I
look back, I see where I have done well. I also see many mistakes. If I could
give a word of advice or encouragement, it would be to do life as simple as
possible. Don’t fill up every minute of your day. Leave time for goofing off
with your family. Never underestimate the idea of “free time”. Cherish each day
you have with your kiddos. Remember it is your children’s legacy you are
writing, so make firm what you believe. Mostly get rid of all the things that
steal your time as a family. Enjoy each other for who you are. Love each other
deeply, and cherish each other more than a job, or expensive item. Finally when
your time here on earth is done, you can be sure that those who you cared most
about will be by your side.
Tami,
ReplyDeleteI was also very intrigued by the attachment and how our culture affects us from infants to adulthood. I had no idea that at that young of an age it even mattered. It really goes to show that as parents and future parents we have much to learn when entering parenthood. I think that's great that you would like to be able to teach stuff like this! I feel that there should be some sort of required parenting material for students to take in high school so they can understand and be prepared.
When I read your blog I was touched by many of the same thoughts I have had about life, culture, raising children and needing a tribe to successfully raise kids. I was reminded of a book that I read many years ago by Jane Liedloff called "The Continuum Concept" that changed my life. Truly an amazing book. Here is a small video from the author that I think you might appreciate:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmnrTBFu6hg